Jean H.

Around the age of five I began searching for truth. That seems a little far fetched for someone that young but I did. My home never mentioned any type of 'religion'. My Dad held the belief that we (his children) would find those answers by ourselves. The only 'church' I was never allowed to visit was a catholic one therefore I never visited one. My father was a career Navy Meteorologist so every time we moved I asked to go to church. I learned all the Bible stories and by the time I reached high school I was very active in a Nazarene church.

After high school I attended Western Baptist (Christian Bible) College ('78-79) and received my first shock. One of the professors told us that the crucifixion wasn't on a F*riday. When I asked why we didn't teach the truth in churches his reply was that if the truth was taught, all the churches would lose their congregants (and income)!

After that year, I left Bible College. I entered the work force but continued to be active in any church I attended. I attended Baptist primarily until after a failed marriage. My mother introduced me to The Worldwide Church of God and for about 7 years my son and I attended with mom. My dad watched to see what we did. The leader died and the church underwent a big split as they moved towards mainstream Christianity. I already knew that way was not the 'correct' faith so I began looking for something closer to the truth.

I was searching by this time for the way to 'holiness'. I felt that Jewish-ness was holy but couldn't shake that the Mâshiakh had come. I began looking into a "messianic" congregation. That search took me into a "Yaohushua" (sic) cult that is based in Israel (NOT the N^әtzârim). They proclaimed that they were true Jews and that they were not Christian. After four years of exposure, I couldn't see any difference from their doctrines and mainstream Christianity. This group taught us to perform the Holy days and Shabât. That observance all ended when they tricked you into moving to Israel. There were no teachings, no assembly, only work. They took all the money earned and we never knew what they did with it. It was two years before I met the leader. This group was abusive. After four and a half years a friend and I ran away from them, trying to go to Canada.

I eventually returned to my present home back in the United States and graduated from college (UF, 1996). My search for truth continued even though I was devastated financially and spiritually. As I studied, the main thing that grabbed my attention was in Matityâhu, the Mâshiakh answered a question with the Sh^әma, "Hear O Israel, Adonai your Ëlohim, Adonai is one." This was the first verse of Hebrew that I learned. It caused me to look at the polytheism of Christianity. There is no possible, logical way to make 'one' out of 'three' persons therefore I deduced that the trinity is wrong. The trinity was wrong therefore Christianity is wrong.

I began searching again for that road to 'holiness' by looking into Judaism. I found some helpful people who had converted. In that search, I came across the N^әtzârim web site. I read the site and most of the links. The historical documentation of the truth of apostate Hellenist Turkish-Jew, Paul's movement as linked to the Roman system really convinced me that I was on the right track. I had heard this mentioned that Paul's writings weren't totally valid according to biblical scholars. The biggest revelation that helped me the most was discovering the true Ribi Y^әhoshua as a Pharasaic Ribi and not a rebel teaching against the Torâh. I also saw in the book of Matityâhu that the Mâshiakh seemed to be teaching Torâh, not the doctrines of Christianity.

I also noted that Paul's writings in the NT contradicted the sayings of the Mâshiakh. Where was that link that gave Paul the authority to change the teachings of the Mâshiakh?

I already knew that I wanted to convert but now here was the strong suggestion that the Mâshiakh had come as prophesized and as a bonus the missing pieces to the 'church' history were found. It makes sense.

I'm learning about ha-Sheim; not in a controlled program but I am now allowed to explore the world of science and history, literature etc., and I am finding ha-Sheim. I am slow going due to my finances but doing everything I can to serve and love ha-Sheim and do my utmost to keep Halâkhâh of Torâh.