:Tonya M
El Paso, Texas, U.S.A.
Inquiry: Shalom Pâqid Yirmәyâhu, ha-Tzadiq,

Is it proper to visit selective torah observant family/friends knowing that their only time off is on the weekend which means they use that time to do things that should not be done on the Shabbath?

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"Selective Torah observant" is an oxymoron. There's no such thing. Selective is the opposite, and a contradiction of, keeping Tor•âhꞋ . You're describing Tor•âhꞋ  violaters. Sometimes, just wiping away a euphemism clarifies an issue.

The issue, and your focus, must be on what you do on Shab•âtꞋ ; not what they do. Study the principle of havdâl•âhꞋ . When your life practice doesn't permit mingling between the QoꞋ dësh and the not QoꞋ dësh (i.e., khol), then havdâl•âhꞋ  will be maintained.

The prohibitions that you will learn about Shab•âtꞋ  facilitate its purpose: praying the Tei•mân•iꞋ  liturgy (or studying Iv•ritꞋ  and the liturgical chant from the Tei•mân•iꞋ  si•durꞋ  until you can pray) and for studying the pâ•râsh•âhꞋ  and related Scriptures (or studying Iv•ritꞋ  and its Tei•mân•iꞋ  chanting until you can). Tor•âhꞋ  violaters will have no interest in sharing your activities on Shab•âtꞋ . People always have other times during the week to get together – if it's important enough to them. At no time, however, can you compromise your Tor•âhꞋ  practice.

Besides maintaining the standard of a non selective torah observant, are there exceptions to what a Netzarim does when not at home and in company of relatives/friends on the Sabbath? Would all liturgys still need to be done?

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The only exception is where you might intervene to save life or health (we include spiritual health) in a medical emergency. In these days of dialing 911, personal intervention by a non-medical person at a distance would be limited to phone encouragement or counselling.

I enjoy watching fighting, karate action and sometimes scary movies, will I need to stop when I become a Netzarim?

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You have free will controlling what you determine you will find attractive. Neurological scientists have demonstrated that the brain rewires itself according to a person's will and practice. You'll have to make up your mind whether you will be attracted to seeing people bloodied and injured, and simulations of far worse, or to healing, helping people as creations of י--ה, and making this a better world.

There are some of the former elements in most dramas and action thrillers. However, your response to such scenes must be (or become) disgust at carnage and compassion for victims and injured; not vicarious thrill at fighting, carnage or destruction. Disgust won't attract you to blood & gore movies or fighting (other than learning defense). Fighting, at a personal level, is limited to self-defense (and training for self-defense), never bloodthirst or even a bloodthirst "sport." I love (American) football. But even "smashmouth" football is disgusting. The NFL's recent trend toward weeding out criminals among their players and amending the rules to reduce injuries –and yes, Tim Tebow – makes football a far better game. It should never have descended into the gutter of hate-combat. I disagree thoroughly with Tebow's simplistic, historically ignorant and inherently misojudaic theology. But I defend his right of free speech to give thanks to whatever he wants. Tebow's athletic (not theological) example is enormously better than shooting people, assaulting meter maids with an automobile, doping out on drugs, getting into fights, stomping on people and the like. Would that the NHL would expel fighters from their sport. It would make ice hockey an extraordinary game. The point is that excitement should never drift into bloodthirst or a thrill at hurting someone.

Being attracted to a thrill of being scared is an adrenalin rush that is simply neurotic. I suggest that an attraction to being scared also inclines one to excessively risky decisions and behavior. It's one thing to face and conquer one's fears; something quite different to be attracted to, and getting a rush or thrill from, being scared.

If a spouse who is selective torah observant wants to visit friends and would like their spouse who is non selective torah observant to go with, is that proper for a Netzarim?

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Both the euphemism and the N^әtzâr•imꞋ  focus were answered above.

Would a non selective torah observant need to greatly limit their contacts(fellowships) with goyim completely(except in cases of employment)?

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Regarding social contacts: I wrote you in a previous message that you don't need to cut off social or business contacts at all – however, you'll find that Tor•âhꞋ  violators will not share, nor wish to be part of, your Tor•âhꞋ  focus and activities. Consequent to your Tor•âhꞋ  practice, they will do the limiting of contacts (see Ho•sheiꞋ a 14.10).

Regarding fellowship, however: you can have no fellowship (which is spiritual) with Tor•âhꞋ  violators. The only persons you'll have fellowship with are N^әtzâr•imꞋ  and other Orthodox Jews; and you'll find that most Orthodox Jews will ignorantly – and unjustly – assume you're still some sort of Christian and will, therefore, reject fellowship with you. It's not an easy path; no rose garden, mostly thorns.