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| Pâ•qidꞋ Yi•rᵊmᵊyâhꞋu |
2000.10.27 The Jerusalem Post Magazine, p. 10-13 –
"A promising Ta•lᵊmudꞋ scholar in the austere Lita'i (Lithuanian) community in Jerusalem, Amit's days were dedicated to yᵊshiv•âhꞋ studies, Judaism and family. In the works was an arranged marriage that would have taken place when he reached 20, to a girl he had never met. But in those days, his mind was elsewhere.
"'I dreamed of being a great rabbi and head of a yᵊshiv•âhꞋ,' he says.
"Life was good for Amit until he turned 16. He loved studying Ta•lᵊmudꞋ and he enjoyed the celebrations, prayers, and values of Judaism, and the intense commitment to family life.
"But that year something kept troubling him: Nobody could give him satisfying answers to his mounting questions about religion.
"'I had so many questions about faith, but the rabbis and even my best friend didn't want me to ask them,' he says.
"It was these experiences that led Amit to sneak out to the library on his own… Over a one-year period of seeking answers from other cultures, Amit began to lose his faith…
" 'When I believe in something, I must follow it,' says Amit. 'I didn't leave because of the lifestyle. I left because of faith; it stopped making sense. Now I am more secular than the secular…
"Says Tropper, 'They've been brought up in a black-and-white world. Israelis do not perceive Conservative and Reform Judaism as authentically Jewish or Israeli. Israeli secular society doesn't even recognize me [a Modern Orthodox] as authentically religious.' "
In this, Tropper is only partially correct. It is true that Israelis don't consider Conservative or Reform Judaism to be authentic. However, the distinction that secular Israelis refuse to make is between Kha•reid•iꞋ Orthodox and moderate Orthodox, not between moderate Orthodox and secular Israelis. No self-respecting secular Israeli accepts moderate Orthodox as part of the secular world, nor do secular Israelis accept moderate Orthodox as anything but "dât•imꞋ" (or "dosim") – i.e. "religious," which they ignorantly and stubbornly equate exclusively to "Orthodox", who, in turn, are increasingly being wrongly equated with Kha•reid•imꞋ.
Consequently, it isn't logical to assume that éåÉöÀàÄéí ìÀùÑÀàÅìÈä, desperately trying to fit into the secular world, would categorize moderate Orthodox as secular anymore than the seculars do. But, as former Kha•reid•iꞋ, they are acutely aware that moderate Orthodoxy is enormously different from their former Kha•reid•iꞋ world; a Judaism which is modern, scientific, hi-tech, logical and rational – exactly what they have been searching for!
Because the Kha•reid•imꞋ are taught that everything is either black or white, the éåÉöÀàÄéí ìÀùÑÀàÅìÈä go from the perceived "black" of Kha•reid•imꞋ society to the perceived "white" of the secular world. Often for years they cannot adopt to, if indeed they can even comprehend, a middle ground. During a transition of several years, éåÉöÀàÄéí ìÀùÑÀàÅìÈä typically reject Jewish customs. Having had to consult the rabbi for every trivial thing for their entire life (such as whether they can have their teeth cleaned, study a certain subject or read a book not written by a Kha•reid•iꞋ, what (limited function) "kosher" cellphone they can use or permission before looking at a website – or even to access the internet at all). Every criterion of a cult operates to venerate and empower the Kha•reid•iꞋ rabbi. "It takes them years to understand what it means to be free in your mind."
"Both haredi and secular society force them into this limbo by not validating a middle ground, says Dr. Daniel Tropper, president of Gesher, an organization that promotes understanding and coexistence between religious and secular Jews." It is, therefore, especially urgent that moderate Orthodox, including the Nᵊtzâr•imꞋ, maintain a soft 'landing zone' for éåÉöÀàÄéí ìÀùÑÀàÅìÈä within the framework of Orthodox Judaism.
This "landing zone" must be tailored to the needs of éåÉöÀàÄéí ìÀùÑÀàÅìÈä. " 'The haredi world is completely family and community oriented; everyone is responsible for everyone else. You are never alone, and there is a sense of belonging.' says Prof. Menakhem Friedman, an expert on the sociology of religion at Bar-Ilan University. 'The khi•lon•iꞋ [secular] world is individualistic and achievement oriented. When [the former Kha•reid•imꞋ] go from one world into the other, they often yearn for that feeling of belonging. They feel the most alone on Sha•bâtꞋ nights and holidays."
To be effective, receptive Orthodoxy must ensure that a structured responsibility is established and maintained, where that sense of belonging is ensured and nurtured, and where the éåÉöÀàÄéí ìÀùÑÀàÅìÈä is tutored to belong, love and cherish Sha•bâtꞋ and Yâm•imꞋ Tov•imꞋ in a moderate Orthodox beit ha-kᵊnësꞋët. This nurturing environment, however, cannot intrude upon the individual free will, reasoning, knowledge and intellectual growth of the individual which originally motivated the éåÉöÀàÄéí ìÀùÑÀàÅìÈä to seek elsewhere.
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